January 12, 2010, 7:09 PM

Subject: Re: Can't wait to hear about everything.

Hey Mom,
So I dont have much time on this email. The computer that I am using keeps doing this security thing and so I lost a lot of time typing to dad. It was a good one to him so I think that should help. Just see at as a letter to both of you.
Yes, I'm writing in my journal. As I was slipping on the crap-laden, watery floor of my bishop's bathroom (called a CR-comfort room), pouring water in my pants as I attempted to wipe my butt with my hand and sweating profusely from the heat and dealing with the diahrea from the hamburger that I found out later was made of cultured worms, I sat there and said, "I need to write in my journal more". So yes, I'm writing. Speaking of which, the water/hand method is a lot more soothing than toilet paper. You dont have to worry about toilet clogs. And it's cool and refreshing. Once you figure it out. My first couple of times oughtta be a hoot when we watch my movie in heaven. I looked so stupid. Well....stupider.

Pouch mail gets to the mission home pretty quick I think. So send out the word for that. DearElder gets there too. But it turns out that Jenny sent most of her Dear Elders to the mission home so I got them when I got here. That was pretty funny. She thought I was getting them and not writing back.
Yesssss.......... I have been writing to other missionaries to see how their work is going. Your letters will be better from now on.
So we're off to the mall now to go buy pants and ties. I LOVE IT HERE!!!!
Take care,
Brandon